That was too much detail to begin with but as woman, I have often battled with the feeling that at times, I need to be considered just because I am a woman. Like when we are in a team of ten, nine men and I expected to form a team of two or three, I should be picked automatically because I am a woman. The world does not work that way. The battle against a woman, in some instances, is purely sexist. It is a fact that the few women who work so hard to be at the top go all the way. This, especially in Africa, is not an easy thing a man to handle. A man will bring you down sometimes just because you are a woman. However, there are men who genuinely support women. A good example would be the president of the republic of Kenya backing Amb. Amina Mohammed for AU chair post. As much as I really wish that she will be elected on basis of merit and not politics, I feel so proud when men believe that a woman is competent enough for highly regarded positions.
I have heard stories from my friends where senior men in an organization have had flings with junior females that never ended in the ladies growing career wise. No sexually transmitted promotions. I recently read Danielle Steels; Power Play and I must admit I learned so much. Marshall Weston, A powerful CEO in Northern Carolina has an affair with junior staff who ends up bearing him beautiful twins. To him, the clandestine, is just what she wanted her for first, Sex. Reading this book, I wondered just what lengths we ladies go to get it easy. Also, how long does easy last? From my personal experience, it does not. I know hard work pays off. The good thing is that the step-by-step can be very painful and may take ages but one thing am sure of is that the position that comes with hard work may be taken away from you but the experience will a legacy. Drawbacks are only set back springs to leap into a bigger and better realm. This is only if you take time to analyze the short comings and learn from the mistakes.
Personally, as a woman, at times I get swallowed into the life of what the society will think of me. I tend to care more about what people will say about me. It even seems harder when you are not a very young girl and you think of what a potential suitor may think of you because you are pushing your dream. I remember a masseuse friend of mine we pursued a language course together two years back who stopped massage services partly because all the males she met thought she was a whore hiding behind professional masseuse services. What broke my heart was the time and financial resources she spent training to give the best massages. It was not proper but I keep on encouraging her to go for it. She was so good at what she did.
It is not so funny because over time, I have thought extraversion works. During in-house training on Balanced Score Card , one of the facilitators told us that in the current organizational set-up, it has almost become the norm that only 30% of your work, actually determines what rewards you will get; “politics” contributes a massive 70%. It boils down to;
Who do you know?
What favours can you offer the senior?
What do you hold against the top person that can bring him or her down?
What cards do you hold in the many games you play at work?
It is sad because most women think pity party and sex are the only cards they have to play. You cannot lift a camera and you want to be a news reporter? Yes I know you might tell me that that is what camera man does. But lady, style up. You will go to a war zone and watch a bullet pass through your Cameraman’s skull. Does is mean you pack the bags and leave immediately or you get that scoop make yourself proud. As a woman, do you think sleeping 8 hours every night as the men burn the midnight oil to crack a code will make you super just because you pursued IT? Do you think as a mother when you take your girl shopping while the boy accompanies the dad to make business deals you are being fair to your daughter? Is it okay as a lady to constantly “proudly” claim how you hated Maths and sciences before your children and other people ( even employers) make it okay? Do failures of the stereotyped areas make you a great woman? Yes we don’t have same abilities but it is high time women learn to maximize on their strengths. Boob and booty is good. Brains are much better. Six inch heels make you taller abilities, skill and experience makes a lady stand out.
It is okay if you happen to get into family business but what you bring to the table matters the most. When Margarita Louis-Dreyfus took over Louis Dreyfus Company after demise of her husband in 2009, most people expected her to keep the company on the growth trend with the same strings her husband pulled. However, there is only much one can do and deciding what is best and works for you is important. She is selling Marseille Football Club, just maybe, it is the best thing that will ever have happened to the Agriculture based trade big house .
Women, let us build us.