21 Random Q&A

Inspired by @21QuestionsKE on Twitter, I decided to do a little bit of my own version. All answers are nothing but the truth 😉 😉

  1. What do you hope you grow out of?

Mixing my food e.g I mush Ugali and Veggies

  1. What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis?

Healthy? I drink lots of water

Unhealthy? I am addicted to chapati

  1. When looking for a significant other, what three things are most important (besides looks)?

Spiritual ( religion), Intelligence and cleanliness

  1. How much do you judge a person by their appearance?

Appearance matters very little

  1. What is the most embarrassing thing you own?

Some cloth ( I cannot be specific 😜 😜 )

  1. What is the strangest habit you have?

I sometimes just curl on the couch and suck on my thumb when I run out of options

  1. What movie made you cry the most?

I cry while watching almost every movie. War Room in the recent past ( I prayed a lot too through it )

  1. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood?

Every escapade with my cousins especially looking for mangoes, fetching firewood and water

  1. What was the worst date that you’ve ever been on?

In 2013. I broke a few things when I hit the table

  1. What’s your favorite vacation memory from when you were a child?

At my maternal grandma’s place

  1. What belief do you have that most people disagree with?

That God will give you what you ask for in a partner, sometimes 100%

  1. What impression do you try to give when you first meet someone?

Easy and talkative

  1. Who or what inspires you to be a better person?

God. I am assured of his love. And my dreams, because I believe in them

  1. What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship?

I fell in love, with every air I did breathe

  1. If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.)

Nope. I have had quite good lessons

  1. What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time?

That I could have 7 biological children

  1. What are some things you would you like to achieve before you die?

Inspire someone to be better and a two month straight vacation to different places

  1. Where would you like to retire?

Kenya

  1. What brings you the most joy in life?

When those I care about are happy

  1. What is the best and worst part of your personality?

Best -I care too much

Worst – I rarely give 2nd chances

  1. How would your perfect partner treat you?

With absolute honesty

Life Lessons

When I was growing up, especially in my late teens and the first three years into twenties, there is so much that I told myself I would do different from my mother and many other older women I had interacted with. I told myself that I needed to be this person who will awaken the next generation of these versatile women who were positively resilient, go-getters, goal setters and independent. See, this was probably just when I was getting into media and had really not interacted with many women from different backgrounds and professions. All I carried and still carry is this insatiable hunger to be different, to stand out, to inspire generations especially the girl child. To make men appreciate and respect women. To be different.  Then I started meeting different women, I read about some more, I was narrated to stories of exceptional women. Then I realized that maybe I thought a difference was what everyone felt and saw. I was wrong. I did not need to be applauded to know that I was what I wanted to be. I refused to be defined by the societal norms. I refused to be defined by my past or be measured by my social circles or be intimidated by my sex. I refused. A rebel was born.

Each day, I realize that I am more like maybe more of the things I hated in those women. I hated the extra effort that my mother used to put in at work where she had a very little, almost no appreciation. But she kept on doing it. For the 31 years she has been a teacher, she has always been known to be hard worker, result oriented, disciplinarian, clean, and organized and basically, a teacher some head teachers have clashed when each wanted her on their staff.  Parents have transferred their children to the schools she has transferred to. I never got it. For a long time, I HATED the way she was used to work so hard yet it seemed in turn never got return on her investment. However, every time I visit her at school in the recent past, I am always amazed at how her pupils, parents and even former pupils treat her. Even the bullies bend before her. She is not big bodied, she rarely beats them but they respect her. You ask them why and they say that she is the best teacher and friend they have ever had. Even when she struggled with finances, she ensured that they sat their exams when they could not pay. See, I am not Mother Teresa or anything close to my mother, but I find myself working extra. Not because I will always be looking at having something extra on my work score or CV, but because I do not want to be associated with defeat. I don’t want to fail myself.  No one cares that much if the system fails, because someone else can do what you do. Also, no one cares if you fail. It is only you who knows your strategic plan. I know what I want, in the short and long term. I work my ass off just to see it materialize. And trust me, success is good. Very good.

Another thing that I prayed to God id that to enable me get my family “in good time”, bless it with unity that there will be no divorce and keep away the spirit of death. Maybe I just never said it loudly but I had my reservations about single parents, whether by choice, circumstances or widowed. Sometimes I used to think maybe if my mother remarried or my dad was alive, life would have been much better. I always wondered why someone would walk out of a marriage, or someone would choose not to ever want to get married, or refuse to remarry. I just did not get it. But the older I get, I don’t think there is a time I treat these women with more respect than the next day. I sometimes just think of those that I know and I feel so remorseful that it took me so long to appreciate their choices. I still pray to God to let my children have their mum and dad living together amicably but I think everyone should look beyond the “single parent” tag and appreciate the amazing work the parents have done. The kids have turned not just fine but awesome. No one wants to play the double role but they do it so graciously that you would wonder where the extra energy comes from. Seeing a dad take his daughter to the salon, discussing the brands of sanitary towels along the supermarket aisles, the mothers nursing their sons after circumcision or teaching them how to put on boxers ( yes, it is not automatic like panties), it is amazing. The parents who take the double role to ensure quality education.

My mother turned 53 years today. I texted her in the morning and I was emotional as I wrote that message, more than any other year. Maybe for the longest time, I saw it normal for her to take care of my siblings and I because after all, she is our mother. I am so glad that every day, I see a bigger picture. I am glad that I picked some of those traits from her (Even telling my siblings to carry sweaters on a hot January afternoon). I am the strong woman majorly because of her. I am so proud to be called her daughter.

Happy birthday Love of my life , Mummy dearest !

 

26: Retrospect

How beautiful it is to love yourself without inhibitions. To recognize the season you’re in, adjusting your sails- thriving in and out of season. Trusting that God has placed in you a beautiful tapestry of his Grace, interwoven with the lessons life keeps teaching you. Taking it all in stride, inhaling, exhaling…still here, and still breathing. Understanding your worth, not needing anyone’s approval to step into the light accorded to you. How humbling it is to think that the Creator of the Universe believes in your ability to influence your space. You are not insignificant. You are chosen. Get up. Take your place. Shine your light. Water your petals. Have faith enough to know that one day it will all make sense. You will blossom in every way that you ought to, and in every space that you desire to.”Kambua

When I read that, I felt something like liberation rise in me. I felt loved, I felt free. I don’t know why a simple post can sometimes awaken the fire that for a long time burned like still embers of the dying fire. It got me thinking about the things I have feared for yet they are very insignificant. The things that don’t matter at all. God made me, he knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb, so why do I keep on making myself inadequate? Why do I limit myself?

Personally

I guess it happens to men too but its more profound in ladies. The insecurities we have with our bodies. There are so many things that we have wished we could change. Yes we should worry about the bad fats, the peeling skin or the brittle hair. But you cannot change how God wanted you to be. Urefu na Ufupi, ni maumbile lakini utambi na mimba ni jitahada zako mwenyewe.

“I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14

Emotionally

This may come as a surprise to those close to me and a bit controversial to those we have known each other casually. I have two extremes. I get attached very easily and at the same time I am very unavailable. This is funny, even to me and always confusing .

Firstly, on getting attached easily, it a weakness. Mostly comes with people who at a moment of vulnerability, take charge and take care of me. That I can’t help. I am a madam “do it myself” guru. However, we all need someone; or some people. In some instances, we have had to ask for help and its okay. I have begged for help and I know its okay because I needed it. But there are days when help has come when I least expected it . It has come from the people I least I expected of . Those days, I have just sat back and let someone else take the lead. Those are the people I have lived to automatically qualify them in my “treasured” friends. They have reminded me of the human me. Those people have made have a moment to let people take care of me. They have been so scarce in my life but I am grateful that God has sent the selected few my way. As for the emotional unavailability, I think it’s because I attach deep with no reservations. That’s why I try to avoid the attachment. I think I am not unavailable but I strive not to be unavailable. Nothing prepares you for the pain of a betrayed loyalty and connection. Be it from family, friends or who you think is the love of your life. I may not wholly control the circumstances but I try to .

Love

It is a beautiful thing

Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.