Colleague Flings

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Fresh from campus, probably a size 8 or 10. The curves in the appropriate places. Your parent/s or guardians have sacrifices a little to get you the correct attire for this opportunity and that your mother has had the longest fast for since she turned 40. You are excited too. You can already picture a studio apartment in the next few months, complete with all the basic fine things. Probably in a year or two, a mini cooper will come along. You just bid goodbye to your campus flame. The Tall, Dark and Handsome lad who got a master’s scholarship to the UK and you don’t do long distance. You are still you, 23 and sure that very soon, you will get a classy 28+ working middle class guy to spoil you, not just with a trip to the cafeteria but at least an Easter weekend in the bush or white beaches. It is your first day at work. It is not a big company thus the induction begins with meet and greets. Everyone looks so happy to see you, especially Charlo wa finance (😝 borrowed from a tweep). The only unwelcoming person is the new receptionist with a skirt shorter than her nails length and designer handbag that automatically lands on your to-buy-list.

No harm to get treats as a new employee. Kevo brings you tea; Charlo drops a KFC pack on your desk at lunchtime. Brian, the pot-bellied boss gives you a lift to bus terminus in his fuel guzzler. You are so happy that you cannot wait to chat with your gal on how your “colleagues are so good”. On the 2nd day, an elderly lady will call you aside and give you THE TALK. She will warn you of the hit and run genes all the men colleagues carry. You know it; it’s now a new gospel. So you will sit there, almost wishing to pull out a pen and paper just to show her how serious you are taking in the piece of advice.

Two months later, and you realize that you are struggling to pay your bedsitter rent, let alone rely on 2nd hand designs. A piece or two that came after a lot of bargaining. You can’t even send your folks cash. You are not a faithful tither yet even the thanksgiving offering is so hard to come by. Charlo wa finance balanced his books and your lunch could not fit in any more. Mr Big Boss has been a little consistent with a lunch here and there. You have also gotten a new crush. Denno wa marketing. He has this polished accent, oozes everything in your male ego list and knows that not all blue hues can blend. You like him. He is likable and you really wish he could notice your new weave and now a much tighter skirt is.

It isn’t long before Denno hits the coffee houses with you in tow. His Nissan Dualis, still very new is a topping on the already cooked meal as you no longer have to jav. You like him and even remember to thank God for him. He is slow and careful, and you like it. MR. BIG BOSS is not pushing either. He knows what Denno is up to. He is an old dog with loads of experience. He knows when to bite, so he takes his time. The first bait? What about a work trip out of town? It’s the four of you so no cause for alarm. He openly talks, about how hard you work, which of course is true. You remember to mention to him how grateful you are for the trip because you needed the extra coin. He plays a concerned father and you open up about your struggles. He buys all meals during the trip and even pays accommodation. He does not ask for anything. He does not give cash. Again, down on your knees, you thank the lucky stars. You can’t wait to be back and run into Dennos’ arms. During the trip you can’t stop telling yourself that you are ready to take the relationship to the next level.

Fast forward, five months later, a few bras and panties have a new home, at Dennos. Mr. Big Boss has promised you bigger and better if you spared a few hours for him during the weekend. See, you will always have that one gal in your clique who will tell you why not? She is not your favourite but this time, you have nothing to lose. You start plotting. You learn to buy a few packs of condoms and pop family panning pills like nuts. You can finally afford to save, go for coffees on your own. Your folks are getting monthly stipends and your mom cannot stop praying for the company for paying her daughter so well. You can afford a designer handbag and human hair. Finally, you are almost living the dream you wanted.

One morning, you wake up and there is a hot Caucasian intern. You are forgotten. Worse still, she is in the marketing department and Denno is inducting her. He tells you not to worry until one day you see the texts. Mr. Big Boss gets the Caucasian on his trip. You remember the hot receptionist eyes on your first day at work and you can almost swear that it is the look you have on. You imagine your journey and can’t help crying. To prove that you are not hurt, you go out with Martin from sales, Richard from HR, Fred from the office in Nakuru and even a one night stand with Bill, the IT guy. It is only one and half years and you are “SCRAP”. Used by so many men that you can hardly wait to get another job. The men warn the new men against you. They even discuss you with the females and send them to “talk” to you. Your dignity is gone. Mr. Big Boss blatantly declines your promotion because your values could hurt the brand. You can no longer land the candy eyes because hey, even rubber failed on herpes. You have a few good things and countable trips to 3 star hotels to your name, draped in a very ugly reputation. You may stay to take all the humiliation but if the heavens are merciful, you will get a new chance at a new work station to redeem yourself. If the gods conspire against you, one day there will be memo about redundancy that you will see circulating. You will not understand. Then will come an email to meet the Human Resources Manager. He/she will be short and clear. Your services will no longer be needed. You will start the hustle afresh, broke, broken and either with a lesson learned or no esteem left that you will just pick up from where you left .

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