“Well done Doris!”
“Good work young lady “
The above responses is what I will most of the time get when I have an accomplished a task, come up with a new idea or assisted someone to accomplish a task. The remarks are not bad, they are okay. They make me realize that my work has been appreciated. That makes me happy.
However, each time I go to bed, I review my day and ask myself if okay is okay. If being good is enough. If the good is only that; good yet I could have done better. What is that one thing that will stand out?
I like Simon Cowell of America Got Talent because of his continuous remarks to excellent individuals during auditions. He will always say, “there are very good singers everywhere but it’s only a performance that will make people remember you.” I like him for being brutally honest on that. What extra do you have on the good? What will you be remembered for? Let people stand on their feet to concur that it was excellent. Let your performance make people live the moment.
The extra doesn’t not come easy though. It needs so much effort that at times you may feel that you are being too hard on yourself. It may require sleepless nights, super early mornings, foregoes and sacrifices. Extra will require being nice and a *bitch* when the situation calls for it . Extra calls for taking the lead and not waiting for things to happen. Extra means work, a lot of the darn hard and smart work.
There are instances I have looked at my life and felt very miserable. I would want to have it easy. I would want not to “strain”. I pray for 100% accomplishment without draining to a point of closing my eyes even on the toilet set. But then I realize that am not that person.
I once lost a friend for giving up my seat for her. True story! I knew she needed the seat and if you live in Nairobi you might know how chaotic it can be during rush hours. So I struggle to secure her a seat close to the front and I gladly take the back seat. This simple one, which I would do again for any of my friends so in touch with their feminine side, cost me a friendship. I am glad it did. Through that, I realized that not everyone deserves to be treated nice even when you want to be that extra nice friends. When looking for extra, some of the sacrifices you have to make is letting go of those who don’t share your vision. It is okay. Let them go.
There are boundaries when searching for extra that, at times, those who are already good at it may take advantage of you. They will identify how desperately you need the extra and will use it to manipulate you so that they achieve their own. Be on the alert; learn to create e the boundaries. In my case, it mostly comes so late. I only realize this especially when my work has been plagiarized. There are instances when someone has sent me a report shared during a forum, praising the presenter, only for me to realize that it’s my work, word for word. It feels good to know that it was excellent but hurts that no one will ever know the work you put into it to achieve it . In such a situation, be creative and protect your extra the best way you know how ( you might need to consult a technical guy on this) . This will help you always have your work as your work because extra isn’t easy so no easy for someone else lusting it .
Let’s have an extra full August.