When I Cheated ,,,

“I will not stand this anymore, am sorry”

I never knew I had the strength to say those words. In fact, I never imagined, I would even think of the words. We fought, yes but we always made up. Just like lovers ought to do.

It was full moon outside. I came home late from a meeting with friends. Then, I had never tasted alcohol. I hated it. I could not stand a drunken person. Until that day, I just never knew how one would experience tons of difference tastes in a sip of wine. Our host kept going on and on about the bottles he had. They were imported and very fine. The cheapest had cost him Ksh 25,000. He offered me a glass from the Ksh.60, 000 bottle for my first . The wife approved. Their family friends did too. My friends did. On a Maasai shuka , right in their backyard , I succumbed . It was heavenly. a quarter of the glass is all I needed .

We left. Not visibly drunk but I was light in my step.

I turned the lock but realized the door was locked from the inside. I did not expect him until later in the night. It was barely 8:30PM. I knocked and he did open, but clearly not happy.

“Dee, where have you been?”

I was happy so I guess I thought being funny was good

“Had gone out to buy fun “

Oh poor me! All went south.

We had fought before, but nothing like this.  I stood frozen right before him. He kept talking, his eyes full of rage. For those who know me, I could have cried. I did not. I listened and watched him.

“You were supposed to be here. We had plans for the evening, remember?”

I only managed to shake my head. Somehow, the shaking brought me back from the daze. I picked up my purse that I had tossed on the table and walked out, not before turning around and uttering my life changing words

“I will not stand this anymore, am sorry”

I went out and called my best friend. Called my mother in law (valid name though was come we stay) to take care of my son until we sort things out. That very day, I went out for my first music concert, with new clothes and shoes. I had even managed to pass by the salon.

That’s how I met Ber. I made a move he did not resist. We talked as we danced and he was easy. He later took my friend and I for a midnight bite. My friend left us when I insisted she goes back to her family. I had enough money for a hotel room and last me a few days. I did not know if it was officially over with my baby daddy, but this one time, I was okay if my actions would mean I had cheated on him.

Ber took me to his home, watched me turn into a wreck with tears when I had to say why I was out. He lulled me to sleep, brought me breakfast in bed and gave me the shoulder I desperately needed.

I won’t judge me for what I did . I am just happy I am happy. My son and Ber are good friends. For now, that is all I need. Soon, there will be a sister or a brother. I don’t know what the future hold s, but I know what the past did to me. Am okay with just being happy .

 

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