If there is one thing that I really wished and prayed about in regards to work in 2016 is that God will give me the patience and grace to do what is right. This mainly might have been from my 2015 experience. That of being taken advantage of. I am one person who knows to say no but I mostly fail to do so at work. I would think this is because I am a perfectionist and somehow workaholic. But, quarter way through 2016 and I can truly say, the sea has pulled so much that at times, I can hardly explain. I can’t even start to think of the terms to explain it.
The three months have had some of the very best work related experiences. All of which I have looked back in awe with, “God, I know that is you and I am very grateful.” I have talked and met some people that have totally inspired me that when I have pushed myself just a little, it has been a surprise at what God has done.
In equal measure, I have never been tested this much in my career path; as a sales girl, teacher, journalist and all legal works I have done. It has been a ROLLERCOASTER!!! I have cried, dusted myself, prayed, put in extra hours or changed plans just to be a better person for me. It has been so bad that I think there are days I operated solely on my mother’s prayers.
I have never competed with anyone for anything, even in school. I always compete against me .The me now is work in progress. I look at the women I admire like my mom ,Stella Kilonzo, Cynthia Nyamai , Beatrice Marshal , Marissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg , I read their stories and listen to their testimonies . These women have always worked hard not so beat anyone but to outdo themselves and always be a better version of what they were the previous day. With that, I know that with the help of God, my current baby steps are a sure foundation because he never disappoints.
I did not write down any New Year resolutions. I thought of a better plan, a vision board with long term strategies. I am excited because of how GOD is working on each of my desires. One of the things I really wanted to do is work by the beach for a day or two. I did not know what work and honestly my employer was out of question. I thought maybe I would do some articles to a magazine or help out someone but God knew exactly what was to happen. He is faithful.
Working (either self/employed) , is not easy . There are sacrifices that one has to make. We are human and at times it is TOO MUCH TO BEAR but those are the times to look at the card in hand and play it well. Ask God to guide your steps every day. Situations , people and even yourself will bring you down, take advantage of you , set you up or break you, but never forget that the only person between you and your happiness is the one on the other side of the mirror ; YOU. Realize your weakness, learn to say sorry and do not feel ashamed to show vulnerability. Push the limits because nothing will be given to you on a silver platter. Above all, go down on your knees to praise, pray, exalt, ask, and talk to God. Only he knows the plans he has for you.
I don’t know what the next quarter holds, but I take one day at a time and always ask God to guide me and never let me go. It is three days to my brother’s 2nd anniversary. It is not easy emotionally. I don’t know what death does to other people but I think I am learning to understand what it has done to me. One might be that the pain will always be part of my life, at least for now and though I can hide under the fake smile, sleep or loads of work, there are days it will be so bad and it will not choose the place to manifest. This will be a constant reminder that better days are ahead, hope for a day free of Pain. Happy days .
4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. 9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. 10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity. 12 The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them; 13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming. 14 The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright.