Approach to 15 Things in My Life

There has always been a tag that women are emotional beings. I do agree for I know all human beings are. However, a woman was created in a way that the hormones can relatively create an up and down trend. However the stuff I share below are not based on my emotions but rather experience and self-awareness that I take quite seriously

  1. God

I am at a point in life where I have non questionable belief in God. I am scared to ever reach a point I know that I don’t have his cover. I do have challenges with going deeper into his word and prayer mainly because of subconscious baggage I hold. I am purposing (this last quarter of 2015) to go on a journey and let loose the many things that I hog unto and really don’t make a positive difference in my life.

  1. Me , myself & I

Nothing is hard life self-discovery. Choosing me may seem selfish but I am putting me first. Concealing what I feel for the sake of making others happy has not helped me a bit in eternity, so I chose me . I chose to be happy, to give without expecting, to love without reservations. Just to give my whole but without hurting me.

  1. Family

Family comes amongst the first things in my life. I am making myself available to them but being conscious too. The very family that mostly is a backbone can make dreams fail. It has taken me years to convince myself that I was not the problem when it came to some family issues. Whether close or not, I purpose not to let anyone I relate to make me miserable, doubt my abilities and live a life of I wish I had/hadn’t. Just enough to show them that they are very important to me but hey I got my life to live


  1. Very close Friends

Having a soft spot for a pal can make us mislead them. I will not lie to my friends. I will tell them the truth no matter how bad it hurts. I will be there for them, pat them on the back when they push in the right direction, give them a shoulder to lean on , toast to the successes and above all thank God together . I will be genuine and real with them. I will let them know that they are important in my life but I will not let you date my married friends J

  1. General Friends

I will hold them close. I won’t lie to them but will share the much I think they deserve to know . Will be there for them but will not allow them to be the tears only friends. You know those that only run to you when all others have left? Yes, those ones. Once saw a statement *If you treat me like a joke, I will treat you like it’s funny *. If I treat you as important, treat me also as such .

  1. Colleagues

Colleagues are a family you can’t ignore especially if you are on 8/9 am- 5/6 pm job . I will treat them with respect they deserve. Separating personal and professional life is important so no bringing family stuff to work. Above all will purpose not to fall for that smart 6 ft tall, 85kg , smooth skin with just the right goatee guy who makes my heart skip a beat . So God help me 😉

  1. Neighbors

I will mind my business but Hellos are very important

  1. Church mates

Share in fellowship and pray together. All other personal life titbits have another forum of discussion

  1. My friends’ Friends

They are not my friends so a lot of familiarity is discouraged

  1. Strangers

Be nice to strangers who are nice to me but TRUST NONE !

  1. Lover

I will cross the bridge when I reach there

  1. Lovers’ Friends and Family

Though not applicable, it’s good to be at peace with his family and friends. They are important to him as mine are to me

  1. Money

I will try to make money from any legal source but I won’t let it dictate my happiness

  1. Investments

Until recently , I and not given much thought into it mainly because I was afraid of tomorrow .Slowly am starting to deal with my insecurities and believing that God has a bigger and better plan for me that is to be accomplished and live on many many more years to come

  1. Social life

I have improved a bit. Yes I still potato couch a lot but am being open to networking forums , a bit of crowds and meeting new people who just don’t talk Booze, sex and turning up only but those who make me a better person by trying out new adventures, make new connections , learn new word/language and cuisines too (uluhyia tu!)

PS: On 24th October ,2015 I was privileged to attend Ally Khan Sachu’s Mind Speak forum where he hosted Sumayya Hassan-Athman (National Oil CEO . One of the very knowledgeable, extremely humorous and visionary women. If you did not attend the forum, please make a point of watching the session here . Her talk, apart from opening me to the oil and gas world which I have limited knowledge of, she inspired me as a woman. No race , religion, pregnancy , career and societal view should hinder a woman from achieving her dreams. It all begins with resolution to want to do it and doing it . Thank you Ally for such a chance absolutely free of charge (plus the sumptuous breakfast)



If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it
– Michael Jordan

TITTIES ,VAGINA , CERVIX et al ; It’s that serious !

No one prepares you for the big day, in this case the inaugural visit to the gynecologist. It wasn’t my first time per se but this was the first time I was to have through checkup. I had also not anticipated what I would be thorough but here I was, the new gynae talking all the PH and degrees Celsius of my Vagina not forgetting the embarrassing questions like if I was sexually active or what type of sexual activities I had been engaging in.

Just how did I land here at J.Os clinic? I had been having some excruciating abdominal pains that seemed never to go away. Six years back in my late teens a general practitioner had warned me against ever trying to use hormonal contraceptives after I was diagnosed with simple ovarian cysts. With my poorest dating record, this wasn’t really a big issue coz I almost smiled and told him, “not to worry sir, that’s been handled,” but since I have always had good rapport with Indian doctors including my pediatrician, I only managed, “Yes, I understand”. So all the probabilities of what might have caused the pain always left me with a possibility of another cyst bout. My friend convinced me to see J.O, apparently he would fix whatever it was.

So here I was, at the clinic thinking maybe I would just get a prescription and voila! The pain puzzle solved. Shock on me when I was told to undress, and get on the examination table .I was hesitant on my knickers so I kept them on. OMG! The last time someone knead my titties that much was when I was joining form one (mark you I barely had any). He touched, felt, pressed and make quite a lot of note . Then boom!

“Doris, I will have to examine you down there,:”

“Ummh, sorry,” I murmured.

“I have to check you down there, please get your panties off.”

That’s was it. I was still new in this whole thong business so even the fact that I was almost naked made me so uncomfortable. I told myself to relax and allowed him to proceed with the checkup. Trust me; it was one of the most vulnerable moments. There was me, lying on the bed like a specimen , all exposed to this guy, old enough to be my dad but my mind reminded me that he was a life savior . He did what he had to do, made more notes, discarded the gloves and handed me wipes to clean myself . Ouch ! But what a sigh it was to get over and done with. How wrong I was!

Back to his desk, he sends me for some scans, which now starts to scare me. He says that he needs to be *sure* before prescriptions. I did not ask what things but quietly walked to accident house, silently praying that I am all good.

One hour later, my bladder can’t hold it anymore and I am like 10 more people away from getting served. The worst mistake I do is walking to the washroom thinking that a few glasses of water afterwards will make me all good and ready for the abdominal scan. Though it felt so good, little did I know that it now meant I had to get a transvaginal scan!! Grrr! I have NEVER and will NEVER own a sex toy , so all having this long , smooth edged white thing inserted in me is painful ( a little, coz its covered , no dipped, in gel) , uncomfortable and somehow gross . I have no choice thanks to my empty bladder. My tits also get scanned and in ten minutes, the lady leaves the assistant to assist me in cleaning my gel covered breasts. We actually laugh it over with the lady helping me though I can see in her eyes that she knows I was scared and she pitied me . She ensured that I am fully clean on the upper body before she lets me finish up .

I am now tired and beaten. I don’t care to look at the images but head to J.Os clinic.

Luckily it’s nothing to be wary of .Some cysts are actually normally and should clear at certain staged of the cycle every month. He however makes me promise to go for regular checkups just in case something sinister is brewing up, which of course I have no choice but to oblige. As if I hadn’t had enough, as soon as I step out, the heavens open, I run late for an exam while dripping wet and stay in traffic jam from 8:50pm to almost 11Pm.

Despite all this, I have kept my word, am due for the next appointment in two weeks’ time. Luckily, I have seen good progress. If I had ignored, maybe, just maybe, I would have ended up on a surgery table. I try to feel my breasts every day and contemplate on getting a thermometer for my Vagina once I know how well it will help me .


  • High temperatures and acidity levels may kill the sperm so difficulty in conception
  • Cysts can occur every month but should clear immediately you have your menses.
  • Too much distress as PMS should be brought to a gynecologist attention.
  • Every woman should get regular check ups

It is cancer awareness month, so many free screening happening. Let us take the advantage and get screened!