Valentine: My Hate for Red is Real

Someone save me from this crap about valentine! Someone save me from the red roses, red dresses, red, this *F***ng* red that associated with valentine. Why me? Why should you all have red anywhere and everywhere? That’s how I feel right now. Not that I have no red piece in my wardrobe, no !!! A pal of mine once convinced me to buy red undies. On top of that, I got two other pieces, a very great achievement for me. The two, a jacket and dress are usually won when in a mood to pick a fight (this will crucify me, I am sure). They make my heart hard as a rock, without a single piece of emotion. I hate seeing everywhere painted red, because of some reason; I no longer behave as human. I become careless with words and mean with emotions.

valentines

I remember sometime back , when I was dating , some guy decided to *surprise* me during valentine, and invited me for dinner . It was bad. I walked out on him and ended up with my core boys (I miss them all after they become dads) talking nonsense in a local bar back at home playing scrabble and cards. Come to think of it, it was one of the best valentines I have ever had. No pressure.

How someone loves red roses, is still a mystery to me. One I am not even bothered to unravel. I love flowers. They make this earth beautiful. They bring life to a table and to some weddings too. I love lilies and tulips, and if I have to get a rose garden, they would definitely be white. I detest men who only treat their women on Valentines and birthdays. Not that they carry the burden entirely. Think about this, today, in Nairobi and across the country, the offices are filled with fornication handbags. Those big handbags that women carry on Friday in anticipation to spending the weekend at their boyfriends? Yes those ones. They will be so many today. Then tomorrow, some will flash out the new pair of six inch heels, they can hardly walk in and instead look like gully creepers, so early in the morning as a hint of the anticipated dinner later in the day .

Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to treat a loved one on valentine’s day but why should a dude spend Ksh.10,000 on you when you hardly spend 2,000 on him the very day . It’s not written that a dude should treat a woman on Valentine’s Day or did I miss the memo? When will you woman surprise your lover and take him for dinner , buy him that Rolex or that ancient Seiko timepiece that he has talked about for the past three years you have been dating ? You complain he is not fit, time you dish out that one year gym membership card you have paid for him. You want to go to the movies, buy the tickets. You want him to *style up* a little bit, yes its time you buy him that linen you have always fantasized his ass would look great in. Ladies, let’s get out of the comfort zone. Plus, where is it written that there must be sex after valentines? What is the difference between that woman who is at simmers and gets picked up by a stranger for 2k a night and you woman who feel obligated to have sex with a man after a box of chocolate and bouquet of flowers?

Whether single or not, this color red is OVERRATED!!!! The whole chocolate and diner thing is so cliché. Be innovative. Below are some ideas

  1. Don’t get bothered. Skip it with. Let your you and your partner have another day special for you that is not birthday or anniversary
  2. Charity work. Nothing bonds like seeing your partner empathize and give hope and smile to someone else
  3. Prayer retreat. Yes, beat the odds to pray and fast this day for your relationship.
  4. Trying out something new that that is physically enduring like rock or mountain climbing.
  5. Try Sunflowers , lilies, handpicked bougainvillea or some wild flowers , tied together in a leaf using elephant grass ,
  6. Buy each other a book and make sure each reads at least a chapter that very day
  7. If you are single DON’T BE DESPERATE!! Have fun and do you , something you love ,

 

From me, it’s another power yoga session am so looking forward to, continue with Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg . It’s kicked my ass literally since I started reading it. Plus I have this important phone call I have to make and been researching the whole week. Chocolates are off my list and red roses. If you need to bring me a valentine present, please buy me Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi  or access to a tennis court for 2 hours !

N/B: Am I the only one who think flowers should come wrapped in those brown sisal sack like wraps instead of the clear polythene papers?

Happy Valentines!