Yesterday evening as I walked into the house, I overhead Maricruz, of the Wild at Heart say something that caught my attention. I will try to quote her though I don’t remember the exact words “people think that a strong girl does not need a shoulder. They always assume that you can do it . Oh yes, I will do it, though am broken and in need of someone”. With the activities in my life, more so the past few months, I could wholly appreciate the words. It was as if it was me speaking. It was what had been running through my mind the whole day. The strong woman syndrome is the worst disease someone can suffer from. To the public, it’s a very good thing, and at times am also convinced so. But it takes super intelligent and sensitive person to know that strong is not okay. Strong is not success, strong is not numb, without feelings. Strong is not being that one person who can just take anything. It’s basic that for every ingestion there is digestion and toxins MUST come out.
Here I will specifically talk about the super lady. There is a crop of women perceived to be super women. Those who have shown strong characters. They have withstood the storms, enjoyed fair weather, and went up the rocks, dove deep into freezing crocodile infested waters and still came out with a smile. Women who will do anything to see the people around them happy. Those whose tears will be profusely shed only when they are talking to the maker, because it’s the only time they can cry without being judged. A woman who will utter a convincing “am okay” when she is literally falling apart. This woman, who may have a tittle, earns a good 6 figure salary but never feels happy about her achievements. This woman who has known nothing but topping her classes because it’s the only pride she can muster. The woman who has great men flocking around her yet she cannot trust any, she can never love back.
I have a picture of this woman who goes to bed every night and keeps staring into the darkness. She wishes she could just sleep without having to worry what will happen to whom, or what she has to do to keep the perception people have of her. This is a lady who forces investments and happiness into her daily dreams though she wakes up empty at heart.
The only people who understand this woman are the “wrong” people. That harlot who knows what it is to keep in the cold just to send her kid to international school. That flirt who knows that the only way to keep the potbellied boss out of her life is to pretend that she is interested. That man who is no sorry for adultery. That gatekeeper who by all means is not a match to her standards. The hairdresser who doesn’t care to make a referral to the best sex toy shop in town. And finally her “girls” who share a similar story, a closely similar story or at least they were just blessed with good ears. This is mainly because they have seen this strong lady at her worst. At least they have an idea of her tears away from the cross. They know how much she struggles to please all those who think that she is a super woman, self-serviced to survive any storm.
It’s not a crime to see one as a strong woman. To always look up to her. So is it that there are strong women and it will always be that way. What am sure is that every of the strong woman needs some affection, understanding and support. They are human. Give them time to be just that, human, a wife, a mother, a girlfriend, a friend, a partner, a small sister. Just let them be women. A woman is a “weak” being who needs to be understood and support. If you cannot support the super woman, she will have her way, in the process stepping on you. She will hide her feelings, in turn hurting you without knowing. She will prove that she can do it all in turn making you look useless. She will have it all in turn making you her servant. Everyone is human. Let the superwoman be human.