Finally , The Crush Is Real

When I grow up , i wanna date a TDH (tall dark and handsome) guy, have a fairy tale wedding , go for a fortnight wedding, have many children and live happy ever after . Thats pretty what i thought my love life would be . I also thought that my first first love would be my soul mate, my husband, the father of my children and we would grow old together. I will be celebrating my 24th  birthday next week and one of the top re-evaluation agenda is my love life . 

It is funny how despite growing up, being “liberated ” from old beliefs, immersed in technology world, most of my first thoughts of what my love life would be like are still my fantasies to date . I still see my family and I being close knit,, my kids having the tightest bond with their grand parents ,,blah! blah!blah! its an endless list .

Before then I still know that i will have the *sign* of a go ahead for marriage. No kidding . The most stupid however might be wedding idea. I have been getting so many crazy ideas. … N’way why am I writing all these ? It might sound stupid . Of late i finally had a real crush (forget Lewis Hamilton, Rodger Federer or Redsan), this is someone i have interacted with for a long time . He has been my friend for a long time. Now i no longer see him as a brother , he escaped my friend zone !!! I still dont know how. 

He is my screen saver. I see care in every word utters to me , i can recall the twinkle in his eyes the first day we talked. His wry smile . I can smell him from a far … I can know when he has had a hair cut , shaved his beard or even bought a new belt. i know when he used a nail cutter or his teeth to groom his nail. But this should be stupid because when friendzoning , i was quite sure i would never be caught up in this madness . Sometime we become slaves of our emotions and when we find someone who makes you smile amidst tears,talk when all you want is lock up and cry , ask about how you are doing when no one else does, we tend to quickly get attached. That person who gives a hug when you need it most or tell you a white lie  when you need it  will immediately take your heart into captivity . 

Currently all i need is have that one person to spend time with as a true friend.He has , as a friend, what i would take ages to get in any other friend. But looking back i know this is not what i have always wanted for a hubby , this is what i have wanted for a friend . someone who i can tell anything but he doesn’t judge me. Its a point in life where you turn to your better half (common sense and brains) for consultation. And for me , i also choose to seek the Lord. And let  his will be done . As for this moment, its Hurray, at last got some real crush!!!! 

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