My Unknown

every day i wake up and thank God , i feel so at peace . theres something about connection with the almighty that surpasses every power in the world . there is no greater peace than what we get when we are connecting with God .

i sometimes wish i would connect with some humans beings more , though i know it cant be the level like that with God , but something deeper. at one point there is that family member of friend you feel that she or he is part of you but its usually short-lived ,. i know more than often i have doubted the bond i have with some family members or friends . i try to be the good , make sacrifices for them but i don’t know if i just do too little or do they make me feel i do that , just unrecognized bit . i believe that we should always be there for each other . i don’t know how many of us have been there for each other emotionally . one thing i always say i will never do but keep on doing it is making silly sacrifices of the little things that matter to me . i tend to always want to make someone happy yet i know its not the right way to do it ,. e.g i go for shopping , spot something good that fits me . provided i am with  pal

.that i care a bout , i lie that its ok for her or him to have it when in real sense its never ok .

have such gestures made me live a lie ? maybe yes maybe no. i tend to think its more a yes . when the world looks at me like this woman who is ok , theres is so much that i would like the rest of the knit to view differently . Am not the strong lady always. i weigh down  a lot . no one seems to think i need help. emotionally . but always one to offer help. i am not complaining of the role , but its had when at a tender age of 23, i seem t live 40 . responsibility after another is my daily cup . a role to play and a point to prove is my portion. success to show seems to be the only way out off the demanding society .

yes i am a super woman . i have handled it since i was barely a teenager . i am used to it . however what i always ask myself is that , before i settle down and start my own family (every womans’ dream ) , will i ever have time to do just what is good to me , without judgment , benchmarks and expectations to live up-to . without critique . just me enjoying the fruits of my labor and hard work . i wish for that day i can have someone whom i can take take instructions from .

i wish one day , to kick off my shoes, turn up the music , sink into the bath tub and let the warm water kiss away every single pain and fatigue . i wish that one day i will care about everyone genuinely , but not to do some things just to  please them . i hope that gal in me will be realized soon enough .